Say what you need to say,

In Spanish today, we were having a table conversation about what foods of our nationality we liked to eat the most. After this Mexican girl was done with listing her favorite dishes, she tells us what Asian food she likes. Yellow spaghetti, she said. What is yellow spaghetti? I know what lo mien is, but I’m not sure what’s yellow spaghetti. Hahaha, people make me laugh.

Dimensional analysis can suck my dick.

Test in AP Chemistry, quiz in Novels, test in Spanish II, and quiz in Geometry all tomorrow. I should probably get off Tumblr and start studying :/ I need some motivation.

I am just going to keep everything to myself. Whenever I actually decide to voice my opinions about an artistic and creative idea or goal, someone thinks they have to be a duplicate image of my thoughts and imitate it. No, you need to go.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

1. Let people slip away. I can name a good five to ten people that I’m not as close to anymore. Their fault? My fault? It doesn’t matter. I should have done something to stop it instead of allowing it to happen.

2. Giving my parents such a hard time growing up and now. I complain, I yell, I ignore. They have a list of other important things to worry about and my childish behavior towards them doesn’t help one bit.

3. Worried about what others think of me so much. I probably cared since I was little and it stuck with me ever since. I don’t know why I should care though. I’m lucky I’m still my own person even with all these clones that surround me at school.

4. Tried on my Mom’s glasses when I was in about second grade. I’ve had glasses ever since I was nine and my eyesight is the definition of terrible. I have the eyeglass prescription of an average thirty-five year old. I’m not weird -.-

5. Take almost everything for granted. My mom always tells me how her adolescent years was nothing compared to mine; She had to cook, clean, and look after her parents, six brothers and sisters. I sit on my butt all day and I can’t cook to save my life.

6. Put so much of myself into one person and ignore the ones who’ve been there for me since the beginning. When that person left, I was completely lost. Who was I going to run to? I was grateful that the people who have stuck around, still stuck around.

You play around, you have fun, you share secrets, you tell stories, you cry on eachother’s shoulders, you hold hands, you think about forever.

But here’s the catch, you don’t fall in love. Because the first one who does, loses.

Let’s play.

(via samichann)

I couldn’t finish my homework, so I went into the kitchen to get away from the computer. My sister’s laptop was on the floor, temptation. I’ll probably get distracted with whatever food is left and the internet, again. I’m never going to get done and all I’m doing is rewriting because my handwriting is nasty. Ughhh, I hate being a perfectionist.

It’s not even a thirty day, it’s a ten.

• This is harder than I expected.
• I feel like such an asshole.
• You probably don’t want to ever talk to me again.
• Ignoring most likely won’t help anymore.
• Especially since we ended on negative terms last night.
• I am truly sorry.
• I understand if you still wish to exclude me from your life, I deserve it.
• I should have said it in a more modest way.
• Or maybe not at all.

It probably did not help one bit. I have a quiz in every period tomorrow besides Human Development - Good thing I decided not to switch classes or else I would be even more stressed. It’s 11:26PM and I haven’t eaten yet because of homework. School is ruining my life.

It is so hard for me to get over you. Why? You’ve obviously moved on - I should be able to as well. When I’m focused on something, the thought of you is always in the back of my mind. Please, just get out of my head. The time we didn’t communicate slowly helped me forget about you. Now you’re talking to me again and it’s making it harder to let you escape thoughts. I know you read my Tumblr occasionally, so hey. I’m ignoring you for a while until I can get my head back in the right place, when all this mess didn’t happen. I have family, education, friends, and cheer managing the majority of my time, I don’t need to mix you in the list and add more catastrophe to the stresses I already acquire. I hope you understand, not that you would care anyways…

As illogical your story may be, you can tell me anything and I’ll most likely believe it. I never can tell when someone is lying, unless it’s real obvious. 

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

2. Song lyrics. For whatever mood I’m in, there are words from at least one song that fits in with my situation.

3. I need more friends.

4. People expect and want too much out of me. I’m only 16, give me a break and let me be carefree for once.

5. Why me? What could have I done differently to make the negative not occur?

6. I make others a big part of my life too quick.

7. Death. How would be the reactions and thoughts of others who knew me be if they found out I passed away?

Lately, every little thing has been annoying the crap out of me. Maybe I’ve kept everything bottled up for way too long and I’m going to explode real soon. When someone talks to me, I get an attitude. I’m not doing it on purpose, it’s like a reflex at this point. It doesn’t even make sense what I get mad over though. I try to stop myself, but then it’s too late. I’m sorry in advance if I get pissy at you. Going to a big open area and screaming my heart out - That sounds somewhat calming.

(via samichann, tiny-toni)

Tonight is the first home game and I’m benched. ONE PRACTICE - that’s all I missed. The other girls can skip a million and they still get to cheer. Is it because I’m Asian? Jk, but really though. The whole squad is African-American, but me. Down the cheer line it’s like black, black, black, black mixed with white, black, black, black, black, ASIAN, black, black. WHAT IS THAT? Oyyy, coaches are faggots.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

1. Do not try to be somebody you’re not - just be yourself. There is no need to impress me.

2. Make me smile and laugh. When I’m in a bad mood, I can come to you knowing you’ll lift my spirits. A simple corny line will do the trick.

3. Keep me talking. I’m a pretty shy person, but if you can make our conversation stay alive, you’re worth getting to know.

4. Know when to be childish and when to be serious. Guys that can be sensitive and deep are a plus. I don’t open up emotionally to others real quick, but stick around and you’ll see that side eventually.

5. Remember the little things, they matter the most. I’m not saying recite what I wore when we first hugged or whatever. If you can’t remember the date we started going out or even my birthday, we have a problem.

6. Teach me something new - About you, about me, about the world, about anything. 

7. Be confident about yourself. You don’t have to be the handsomest person in the universe, but if you have some confidence, that’s good enough for me. The more we talk and if I really like you, you’ll start to appear more attractive.

8. Have your head in the right place. Family and education has to be a priority. Alcohol and drugs? Turn off.